Creative Financiers Gifts

'But the most creative bit of the agency is, of course, the Accounts Department!' Advertising executive addressing a group of art students.

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

A child runs an equity stand.

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

No caption. (Adult pushes buttons at an ATM. Child pushes buttons at an "APBM" - and Automatic Piggy Bank Machine.)

"Want to trade banks with me?"

'He's precocious.'

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

Pig's Human Bank

'...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education...'

'We're going to take a financial risk.'

'He's so spoilt, he has his pocket money paid into a Swiss bank account.'

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

ABC. Uh-oh, here comes the penalty for early withdrawal.

Girl holding money.

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

Mature poet surrounded by young artists passing mature artist surrounded by young poets.

The Economy Discovers FFF!

"Tooth fairy funds may seem consistent, and birthday money stable, but you really need to consider diversification of your portfolio."

'Figures can be misleading - So I've written a song which I think expresses the real story of the firms performance this quarter.'

"We'd like to take a majority position in your poetry."

"So you're an investor who dabbles in art? I happen to be an artist who dabbles in money."

"The secret to his success is: buy low, sell high, follow your nose."

"I'll look into it, but you're still in the first grade. Normally, they don't give student loans until you're in college."

'This isn't a diploma. It's a stimulus package!'

Executive MFA

'Junior, if you don't do your homework and stop daytrading, we'll have to freeze your assets!'

'I already know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about investing my allowance for capital appreciation.'

"Based on the economy and your rate of savings, I've updated your retirement projections."

Teddy, do you really want to be a banker? Roger that. Fat bonuses. Sweet yachts. Vacation villas. You know. The American dream. Where have we gone wrong?