Artful Investor Gifts

'I like art I can understand.'

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

Harmon Silas, calculating the thousand words his picture is worth, wonders what do do with contractions.

Pig's Human Bank

"I invested in Chinese stocks just because of my ironic sense of humor - if it goes wrong, I can't even afford a bowl of Chop Suey!"

'I only buy art that I can understand.'

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

"So you're a poet? I don't get exposed to much poetry these days, unless you talk about the poetry of price-to-earnings ratios."

"In this piece, the price clearly does not reflect what the artist is trying to say."

Artist Painting Dollar.

Maybe it's time to stop giving our bones to a broker and start burying them in the backyard again.

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

'What's the difference between exchange-traded derivatives and swaps?'

'The action next week is going to be in bird seed, but if you quote me, I'll deny I said it.'

'Eddie, you've tried aggressive growth, multicaps, small caps, blue chips...now maybe it's time to try a support group for underperforming portfolios?'

'You won't lose any more money. We're the first fund with a GPS tracking system.'

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

"The secret to his success is: buy low, sell high, follow your nose."

"I recommend that you dump the tech stocks and go into acorns."

'I hope there isn't art as we know it on other planets.'

'I highly recommend this painting if you're into art as an investment.'

'A penny saved is a penny not stimulating the economy.'

'I'm beginning to worry -- everything I've got is tied up in investment newsletters!'

'You should've expected this when you told them to draw pictures of vanishing breeds.'

"I want to switch all my municipal bonds into stocks, my stocks into T-bill and my T-bills into municipal bonds."

"Miss Edgeworth, tear down this wall."

"We invest in original art but these days this is all we could afford."

'She must have been a teacher.'

Primavera (Spring)

Investor loses shirt in Eurozone meltdown.

Preparing to paint an un-still life.

'What School Are You?'

"I is no longer sure I is an egg."

Bob's Tattwo Parlor