Art Investor Gifts

Businessman looks at abstract painting, saying: 'I won't be investing in this one -I've just met the artist and he's in perfectly good health.'

'I highly recommend this painting if you're into art as an investment.'

'Beautiful. But will it quadruple in value the next ten years?'

Gillian, Barry, and the Price of a Small Braque

"Not only are we the only gallery issuing regular buy, hold, and sell recommendations - we're the only one where you can take a short position."

Time to recoup my investment before the bottom falls out of the art market.

'I haven't much time. Just show me your masterpieces.'

"As much as I try I can't see this one as a wise investment."

Larry's used art

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

Alien David statue

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

That shows business confidence.

"I think he was a celebrity."

The height of fashion in 1796

Children's artwork exhibition.

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

What the Thinker was thinking: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."

"The overthinker"

Candle Portraits.

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

The Selfie

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

Misunderstood artist

Wagging Dog

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'