Creationist Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

The Food Chain

"Is this the first time you've been fishing?"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'Mayday! Mayday! I'm in the drink!'

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'Fred, rumor has it you're closing in on some profound, elemental truth about the universe, and I wanted to remind you that our research funding specifically prohibits that!'

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

Stone henge swing.

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

Professor...what are you doing?

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

'How was I? Want a cigarette?'

"Pavlov's Blog."

Close encounters of the turd kind...

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

Evolution on the brink

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

'...the downside, of course, is that I can't get the damn thing in the garage.'

'Are there any more at home like you?'

Private work adjustments

"Goodnight cerebellum, goodnight hippocampus, goodnight little neurons that jump to synapses, goodnight medulla, prefrontal cortex, with the pills that I take it won't be complex."