Creationist Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

The Food Chain

"Is this the first time you've been fishing?"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'Mayday! Mayday! I'm in the drink!'

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

Keep it on until he's gone. They still think we're extinct.

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'Fred, rumor has it you're closing in on some profound, elemental truth about the universe, and I wanted to remind you that our research funding specifically prohibits that!'

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

Stone henge swing.

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

"Whoa. Have you lost weight, professor?"

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

Professor...what are you doing?

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

Close encounters of the turd kind...

'How was I? Want a cigarette?'

"Pavlov's Blog."

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

'...the downside, of course, is that I can't get the damn thing in the garage.'

"Jesus is not here. Let's check the one over..."

Evolution on the brink

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

I like going across the frame of this solar energy facility we're building. I'm waling on a sunbeam!

Is the heating contractor mad about something? He just needs space to vent?

"If mass equals energy, why do you have so little?"

A "half-life" is the time it takes for a quantity of a radioactive material to be cut in half by decay. In each successive half-life period, the quantity is halved again. Half-life length varies widely form element to element. Eating healthier is a common new year's resolution. Our data shows breaking this resolution follows a curve like those seen with nuclear decay. As of yesterday about ten percent of those who made the resolution this year are still sticking to it. We calculated the re

"Goodnight cerebellum, goodnight hippocampus, goodnight little neurons that jump to synapses, goodnight medulla, prefrontal cortex, with the pills that I take it won't be complex."