Crafty Spouse Pillows

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

Homeschooling

'Genius! Art class and snack time!'

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

'Mom's doctor recommended she take up knitting as a way to relax.'

"I don't think this is the answer, Harold."

Two lovers sitting on a bobbin

'Right now he's painting himself in a corner.'

'In our thirty years of marriage she's squirreled away loads of money, but she can't remember where.'

Today's presentation - God's Miracles.

'Today the market corrected itself AND Leonard.'

Global Thermostat - Do Not Adjust.

"Yes, my automatic starter has the technology to start your car as well. I'll show you. Honey! Go start her car!"

"I made you a vest."

"You're obviously under consideration for something."

"Your husband is fooling around."

"I hope you like it. I made it myself."

It's my golf night out with the boys!

"Wake up Jeff. You're snoring again!"

'Dad didn't know where the grocery store was, so we dyed Easter golf balls.'

"For Mother's Day I decorated the whole kitchen with glitter."

"That one I could never sell. It's stolen."

'It's bad enough losing to a takeover bid, but when it's your wife who takes over....'

"I always take an interest in my husband's hobbies. . . that's why I hired a private detective. . ."

Two victorian women sitting on a bobbin

"Why are you wearing the windchimes I made you?"

Wedding Tweets

'Have you seen my husband? I left him by the lobster tank a few minutes ago!'