Artistic Spouse Pillows

'Right now he's painting himself in a corner.'

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'Projectile painting.'

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'Hey Dad, Mom's got a new hobby...still life painting...er, Dad?'

'As your doctor, I'd strongly advise that you not laugh at your wife when you beat her at tennis!'

"You say that I love the Liverpool football team more than I love you?...."

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."

"The Jacksons will be there in about an hour and I promise you guys an epic fight!"

'In our thirty years of marriage she's squirreled away loads of money, but she can't remember where.'

A masterpiece was stolen from this space.

Today's presentation - God's Miracles.

"You've been ages,dear-but never mind I've been patiently waiting in the pub accross the road!"

'Today the market corrected itself AND Leonard.'

"Now we're moving into the landscape section."

"Mrs. Porterhouse and her pianist have agreed to disagree."

Cinema. I won't tell you what happens, but there's a great twist at the end.

"Give me a sporting chance, love ... pass me my wicket-keeping gloves."

Rape of the Lock- The Barge

Roach Motel

Global Thermostat - Do Not Adjust.

Bikini Atoll

"Wake up Jeff. You're snoring again!"

'It takes a certain amount of doodling to start the creative juices flowing.'

'You remember my husband, Geoff. He represented you in that messy divorce settlement of ours.'

"So how was the Edgar Willoughby Classic?"

"That one I could never sell. It's stolen."

'It's bad enough losing to a takeover bid, but when it's your wife who takes over....'

'Hi, we're Tommy Canters parents. . . you might recognise us from his drawings of us??'

"When you have a minute love, my 'new man' t-shirt needs ironing."

'Woo-hoo!This is the happiest day of my life!!'

"It's my first husband. He's trying to win me back."

'I'm a cardiologist with a child in third grade art class. What can I say?'

'I forgot my claim ticket, but I had a red blouse, two skirts and a disagreeable husband.'

'I'll tell you why you never catch cold. There isn't a germ that could live with you.'