Crafty Spouse Mugs

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

"We've done everything in this book, and more. There's nothing left."

Homeschooling

'Genius! Art class and snack time!'

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

"You say that I love the Liverpool football team more than I love you?...."

'Mom's doctor recommended she take up knitting as a way to relax.'

"I don't think this is the answer, Harold."

'In our thirty years of marriage she's squirreled away loads of money, but she can't remember where.'

'And if you run out of macaroni Cheerios!!'

Two lovers sitting on a bobbin

'Right now he's painting himself in a corner.'

Today's presentation - God's Miracles.

'Today the market corrected itself AND Leonard.'

Global Thermostat - Do Not Adjust.

"I made you a vest."

"Yes, my automatic starter has the technology to start your car as well. I'll show you. Honey! Go start her car!"

"Your husband is fooling around."

"You're obviously under consideration for something."

It's my golf night out with the boys!

"I hope you like it. I made it myself."

"Wake up Jeff. You're snoring again!"

Wedding Tweets

'It's bad enough losing to a takeover bid, but when it's your wife who takes over....'

Two victorian women sitting on a bobbin

'Dad didn't know where the grocery store was, so we dyed Easter golf balls.'

"That one I could never sell. It's stolen."

"I always take an interest in my husband's hobbies. . . that's why I hired a private detective. . ."

"Why are you wearing the windchimes I made you?"

"For Mother's Day I decorated the whole kitchen with glitter."

"That's a bidet, not a drinking fountain!!"

'Do you promise to have and to hold her, longer than the PS3?'