Crafty Parent Pillows

"Why are you wearing the windchimes I made you?"

'My son made it for me in shop class.'

'Dad didn't know where the grocery store was, so we dyed Easter golf balls.'

Homeschooling

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'She's just great with the children.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'The kids were so sweet...'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"Werewolves of London..."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

'Where do I put the batteries?'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

"It's a mobile."

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Circus Act

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"