Artastic Parent Pillows

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

'She's just great with the children.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"Werewolves of London..."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

Well, you know these child prodigies - they can be very demanding about how their work is displayed.

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'Where do I put the batteries?'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

Circus Act

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"