Crafting Perfectionist Gifts

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

Bullseye!

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

'Aren't you glad we brought our putters, too?'

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

Golf lessons

'Not that slowly back...'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Man and woman buying furniture.

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

For sale - Used only Once.

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"Or should it be scrum or kanban???"

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'Don't ask me, I've never got one in a hole either.'

'Do I take it that you will not be requiring my services on the back nine?'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

"Right here is where you lost the narrative flow."

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

There are more things to life than golf--but I ignore them.

"I can be perfect for only one hour a day."