Craft Fair Skeptic Gifts

'Oh wow! They're got brown pottery, stained glass sun catchers and cows cut out of plywood!'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

'I had a cough at the time!'

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

Knight with paint tin on his head.

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

'I thought I'd cut out the middle men.'

'And then when I push this button it magnetizes the ions and...'

'Good Lord, what is it this week? New equipment for your kid's soccer team?'

"It won the award this year for aggravating the most architects."

"When I was young, we used bottles, rocks and toothpicks for our school science projects."

"This is the worst parade ever."

'Pre-nuptial art agreement.'

"If I had my life to live over again, I'd unlearn macrame."

"I can’t bear the self-satisfied unless I’m self-medicated."

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

'Wow, I see my diet detour school project works! The science fair will se so cool this year!'

"I don't know what I want to do for my science project. I was thinking of trying to cure something."

'It's intimidating that you don't decorate your office.'

High School Science Project Competition

Lonely Trump Rally in Tulsa

"Weren't they the people you lent the complete macrame book to?"

Frankenstein's monster on sale at the arts and crafts fair.

Craft hell

The older you get, the younger they get.

"What happened to your finger?"

'If I really was, do you think the kids would have even bothered to buy me a gift?'

"Grown men! There's no such thing, Molly."

'Wait...Where was I going again? Oh. That's right.'

Hand being hit with a hammer.

"I had a feeling they wouldn't stop at artificial turf."

"It was awful, Ted. The right hand never knew what the left hand was doing to it."

'The science fair is tomorrow, mom. Can You help me build a natural gas power plant?'

'I had a cough at the time.'

"Nobody gets excited about fruitcake."