Craft Fair Skeptic Gifts

'Oh wow! They're got brown pottery, stained glass sun catchers and cows cut out of plywood!'

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

'I had a cough at the time!'

Knight with paint tin on his head.

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

'I thought I'd cut out the middle men.'

'And then when I push this button it magnetizes the ions and...'

'Good Lord, what is it this week? New equipment for your kid's soccer team?'

"It won the award this year for aggravating the most architects."

"When I was young, we used bottles, rocks and toothpicks for our school science projects."

"This is the worst parade ever."

'Pre-nuptial art agreement.'

"I can’t bear the self-satisfied unless I’m self-medicated."

"If I had my life to live over again, I'd unlearn macrame."

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

Craft hell

'It's intimidating that you don't decorate your office.'

"I don't know what I want to do for my science project. I was thinking of trying to cure something."

Lonely Trump Rally in Tulsa

'Wow, I see my diet detour school project works! The science fair will se so cool this year!'

High School Science Project Competition

Frankenstein's monster on sale at the arts and crafts fair.

"Weren't they the people you lent the complete macrame book to?"

The older you get, the younger they get.

"Grown men! There's no such thing, Molly."

"What happened to your finger?"

'If I really was, do you think the kids would have even bothered to buy me a gift?'

'Wait...Where was I going again? Oh. That's right.'

Hand being hit with a hammer.

'I had a cough at the time.'

"I had a feeling they wouldn't stop at artificial turf."

'The science fair is tomorrow, mom. Can You help me build a natural gas power plant?'

"It was awful, Ted. The right hand never knew what the left hand was doing to it."

"Nobody gets excited about fruitcake."