Gift Skeptic Gifts

"Any idea what you're getting Bill for Coronaversary?"

'Sixteen pounds! Forget it, I'd rather settle for a fight.'

'If I really was, do you think the kids would have even bothered to buy me a gift?'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

CEO.

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

"Read the card! Read the card!"

The Re-Giving Tree

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

"... Er, Houston... It would appear that there is life on Mars, after all!"

Bald man spraying his head with hairspray

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

"I can't afford to feed you."

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

Lost and Found - 'Nothing yet.' (Zebra has lots its stripes).

Holiday Shopping for Guys

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

"Oh look Harold, a flower shop!"

'According to the voice-stress analyzer, he's not going to lower taxes.'

'You're kidding? Your birthday wasn't REALLY six weeks ago was it, darling?'

'Where are you, Mrs. Harris? I have another delivery for you.'

Evil Pusskins #9

"Honey - this is soooo special!"

"Sorry I'm late. Argos was a nightmare."

'Eric, who gave me a handmade bookmark for Christmas, gets a 62 percent on the midterm. Ann gave me a mug. She gets a 71. Gina gave me a weekend for two in Vienna. She scored a 98!'

'You remembered our anniversary!'

'Two idiots don't make a good gift!'

"Full disclosure: I served five years for bank fraud."

'She tried diet after diet - the, at last, we hit on something that works . . .'

'Miss Thompson. Get me the charity list, I feel some ethics coming on!!'

I think the real question is, why do I feel I have to give out toys? Can't people like me just for me?

"The new year is an excellent time to celebrate new beginnings by exchanging gifts with those you love."

'I know it's the thought that counts - what were you thinking?'