Philosopher On Gifts Gifts

'What's the catch?'

Hamlet in the craft shop.

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

'Please enter your pin now.'

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

How the gift registry should really work

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

So what else did you get for your birthday?

"You don't think rum-filled centers would give his officers the wrong impression?"

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

"Oh look Harold, a flower shop!"

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

'I like going to parties - invited or not.'

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'

'We're giving you one big present for your birthday and Christmas.'

"A percentage of your overdraft fees goes toward feeding the hungry."

'If you can't think of anything nice to say, how about a gift certificate?'

Flowers - "You got anything that says I put a lot of thought into this gift."

"If you're looking for something more expensive we can always raise the price?"

"It was never about the presents - it's about the power."

Mall Directory asks, Where's your Christmas Spirit.

'Don't be silly, I like my sweaters a little big.'

"Shopping vouchers? Is that all you got him?"

'The nice thing about our car is we double its value when we fill it up with gas.'

Half of those who made no donations last year 'do not trust charities'.

'I know it's the thought that counts - what were you thinking?'

'Gold!! You bought Gold!! What about our agreed upon gift price limit?'

'The next time you buy a tie for me, get one that doesn't look like a beef steak!'

"Okay Santa. It's time to quit cyber shopping for today!"

The family matriaack!

"It's a wrap!"

A panhandler with a sign that reads "If not me, who? If not now, when?"