Philosopher Of Goodwill Gifts

Doing to many good turns can make you dizzy.

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

'I don't know what all the fuss is about.'

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

Always a popular motive: Hunter and Prey.

'And everybody expects me to be happy, which only makes things worse!'

"Our best strategy may be to destigmatize embezzlement."

"Republican striptease"

'I like to use the Law as a jumping off point.'

'Miss Jones, bring me my scruples.'

"Oh look Harold, a flower shop!"

“What we have here is an old moral compass. How did it come into your possession?”

Vegetarian Professor

"Tighten our belts? Why can't you sell your soul to some nasty American corporation?"

"I know the rules on cloning, but it's easier to ask forgiveness than ask permission."

"It's little Pharma. Want some baby aspirin?"

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'

Business men talking, "Out here a guy could be lulled into thinking that there is more to life than just the power or money"

'We'll just run it past the ethics committee, and we'll be on our way.'

'I've noticed that it's only since I started laying golden eggs that everybody wants to be my friend...'

'Don't feel too badly about your post, I used to work for the News of the World.'

"Yes, Gramps, we agreed to follow 'until death do us part' with the caveat that we might be placed in separate wings of the assisted living facility."

'How about bearing false witness for you neighbor?'

"Times like these bring out the best in us."

Some really righteous person turned out to be morally bankrupt today...

'The way I see it, a double standard is better than no standard at all.'

It's the dinner I didn't make. It's kind of a Zen Thing

'Bloody warmongers!'