Philosopher Of Goodwill Pillows

Doing to many good turns can make you dizzy.

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

'I don't know what all the fuss is about.'

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

Always a popular motive: Hunter and Prey.

We've been coming here for decades, but I still don't understand their idea that the richest person is the one with the most money.

'And everybody expects me to be happy, which only makes things worse!'

"Our best strategy may be to destigmatize embezzlement."

Torture in Progress, Help Wanted

'I like to use the Law as a jumping off point.'

Holiday Shopping for Guys

"Republican striptease"

'Miss Jones, bring me my scruples.'

"Oh look Harold, a flower shop!"

"Tighten our belts? Why can't you sell your soul to some nasty American corporation?"

Vegetarian Professor

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade

“What we have here is an old moral compass. How did it come into your possession?”

Gitmo's 10th Anniversary

"It's little Pharma. Want some baby aspirin?"

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'

"I know the rules on cloning, but it's easier to ask forgiveness than ask permission."

Business men talking, "Out here a guy could be lulled into thinking that there is more to life than just the power or money"

'I've noticed that it's only since I started laying golden eggs that everybody wants to be my friend...'

'We'll just run it past the ethics committee, and we'll be on our way.'

"Times like these bring out the best in us."

'The way I see it, a double standard is better than no standard at all.'

Some really righteous person turned out to be morally bankrupt today...

'Bloody warmongers!'

'How about bearing false witness for you neighbor?'

"Yes, Gramps, we agreed to follow 'until death do us part' with the caveat that we might be placed in separate wings of the assisted living facility."

Library of War and Peace