Gift-giving Philosopher Pillows

"Oh look Harold, a flower shop!"

'About this patriarchal middle-class morality of yours....'

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

Hamlet in the craft shop.

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

How the gift registry should really work

Bagel problems.

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

'I've got one of those wobbly forwards trolleys!'

"You don't think rum-filled centers would give his officers the wrong impression?"

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

'Now, as many of you know, I was the Monkey's uncle...'

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

'I like going to parties - invited or not.'

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'

'We're giving you one big present for your birthday and Christmas.'

"If you're looking for something more expensive we can always raise the price?"

"A percentage of your overdraft fees goes toward feeding the hungry."

'If you can't think of anything nice to say, how about a gift certificate?'

Flowers - "You got anything that says I put a lot of thought into this gift."

'And remember you success will be measured by how much money you donate to the universities alumni fund.'

Mall Directory asks, Where's your Christmas Spirit.

'Don't be silly, I like my sweaters a little big.'

'The nice thing about our car is we double its value when we fill it up with gas.'

"Shopping vouchers? Is that all you got him?"

'Gold!! You bought Gold!! What about our agreed upon gift price limit?'

Half of those who made no donations last year 'do not trust charities'.

'The next time you buy a tie for me, get one that doesn't look like a beef steak!'

"It's a wrap!"

"Okay Santa. It's time to quit cyber shopping for today!"

The family matriaack!

A panhandler with a sign that reads "If not me, who? If not now, when?"