Craft Fair Fan Gifts

Home Made Jam - Jailhouse Rock

'I had a cough at the time.'

Frankenstein's monster on sale at the arts and crafts fair.

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

Fist Bumper Cars

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

Riding the Rollercoaster.

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

Which Hogwarts house are you?

'I had a cough at the time!'

"Oh goody! It's just like the Columbian Exposition of 1893."

Face Painting.

A kid is about to be grabbed by an oversized claw.

'Hey, look�The carnival must be in town'

Knight with paint tin on his head.

"Step right up, lady and gents, and scoop yourself a heaping helping of the best spicy meat and bean stew this side of the mighty Mississippi!"

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

Knight Supplies

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

Gardener of the Year.

Man in bumper car sees traffic cop on bumper-car style motorcycle

'I thought I'd cut out the middle men.'

Tunnel of Love Just Friends.

"You're probably hot and I've gone on too long so I'll end with a story of the great pestilence."

Scrambler.

"Roller coaster, 30 minutes. . . Ferris wheel, 15 minutes. . . Haunted House, 45 minutes. . ."

Garrick as Richard 3rd.

'Arthur loves his new job with the fairground - gets a company car as well.'

You must be this tall and this far apart to ride

Paddlithic Period

Rollercoaster police chase.

'The neighbors called to complain about your armor squeaking again.'

'Pre-nuptial art agreement.'