"Polly doesn't want THAT cracker."
Cracker Critic Gifts
Looking for a gift that captures the playful critique of cracker critics? Our specially curated collection features witty, funny, and clever products that any humor enthusiast or food lover will appreciate. From cheeky mugs to humorous t-shirts and stylish prints, these gifts are designed to bring a smile and spark conversation. Show your appreciation for their sharp humor or add a touch of comedy to their collection with something that truly celebrates their love for witty critiques.
'No, I didn't say I WANT a cracker. I said I'm GOING crackers from sitting on this perch day after day, month after month, year after year!'
Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.
"There's no nutritional value in a cracker!"
"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."
"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."
'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'
Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.
Boy whistling at crackers.
'You reek of crackers.'
How The Ice Age Began: 'OK, can we freeze it right there...'
"Eating a diet rich in vibrant colors does not mean a bowl of Skittles."
"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."
"Put away the gummy candies and bring out the apples. The kid's mother is our dentist!"
'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'
'Dear father for what I am about to receive I give thee thanks.'
"Maybe I've been brainwashed, but at this point I do believe I actually want a goddamn cracker."
"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."
Do Not Enter and No U Turns
"The real question is do you really need a cracker?"
Cracker nice, but Polly want more.
'I need an officer to respond to a report of a stolen donut truck.'
"Med Brittle"
A parrot business meeting
"The originator of the office birthday party."
C is for Cracker
'Number 19 across, 5 letter word, starts with 't', ends with 'h'...' 'How about truth?'
Polly want a cracker?
Candy Land for Adults
'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'
"I got horse dewormer..."
'Polly had a cracker.'
"Let's see if there's another witch's cottage with a better candy selection."
"Poor Sadie, this Pesach she finally cracked."
'Oh no, how do I tell them that I don't like Angel Food cake?'
Cracker Critic Gifts Collection
Cracker Critic Mugs
Explore our collection of witty mugs perfect for cracker critics and humor lovers alike—bring their critique to the breakfast table.
Cracker Critic Pillows
Find cozy pillows with hilarious design that celebrate cracker critique wit—great for lounging in style.
Cracker Critic Prints
Browse stylish prints that showcase sharp humor—ideal for bringing the cracker critique vibe to any room.
Cracker Critic T-Shirts
Check out our amusing t-shirts that let cracker critics wear their humor on their sleeve—fun and fashionable.