Crabgrass Connoisseur Gifts

To test if life can survive on Mars...scientists crash a rocket load of crabgrass into it!'

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

Desert Island Meals.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

Crab with a clown face.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

Pelobong

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

'Take two tokes of weed, Mrs Grunfield, and call me in the morning.'

"All agreed? We buy low and sell high."

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

Cannabis Dispensary: Walk-ins awkwardly trying to look nonchalant welcome!

"Compliments of the chef - Our finest blend of 'Maui Wowie' dated 1972."

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'

Hippie Edibles Co.

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

'Thank you for noticing, Shirley - but beauty comes at a price, It hampers my hunting, limits my berry picking and typing's a real pain,'

"Medical marijuana hotline...press hash to continue."

'The grass is always bluer to a banjo pickin bovine!'

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

"Could you give me enough medicinal cannabis so that I forget about Brexit?"

"Remember the night in the Tetons when we smoked so much weed we thought we were hallucinating?"

As a doctor I can only tell you that the jury is still out as regards the benefits of cannabis in a medical context,however it is my personal opinion that this particular sample would make one bitchin spliff.

"Tony and Stephanie are from Iowa."

'I'm asking for a transfer to California because that's where you get the really good stuff.'