Carcass Connoisseur Gifts

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'Time to buy.'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

The Personal ATM

'You reek of crackers.'

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

'I like to wear women's collars.'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Expensive greeting cards.

Moliere

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

"Maybe I've been brainwashed, but at this point I do believe I actually want a goddamn cracker."

Charles Dickens.

'I'm looking for something that says 'I love you' without getting too personal.'

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

Bleak House

'Dear father for what I am about to receive I give thee thanks.'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Garden Centre: Bonsai trolleys.

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

The Butcher of 35th street.

Golfers lost on the road

"With this app, I can track my savings. It counts cash, categorizes cash, and calculates cash interest."

'I don't know much about art, but I know what I like.'

Stock marketeers shooting each other playfully with guns full of money

'Dogs have more charisma but cats have more electricity.'

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'