Cactus Connoisseur Gifts

What if Martha Stewart had been born a gopher?

'Yeah, dear, I got the stomping job at the vineyard--you didn't mention they make cactus wine!'

Plant Lady

"Keep looking. She's here somewhere."

"It's not a good sign when cowboys start waving back to the cacti!"

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

"As near as I can figure, we're in the Unpainted Desert!"

Cactus seats.

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

Thanks

Cactus with muscles and dumb-bells on ground.

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

"I'm sure he said to meet him near the cactus."

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

"They'd run out of nurses' uniforms..."

'Have you had a brazilian?'

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

Florist "Say it with cacti"

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

Hombre's Best Friend.

SPOONING CACTI

'And what makes you think this is hostile terrain, Hank?'

'Sometimes I think if it wasn't for Lucy here, I'd go mad.'

'By the way, dear - you have an appointment with the acupuncturist tomorrow.'

'No! we're not lost! And I don't mind asking directions! I'll ask the next guy that walks pass!'

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

"The Cheshire Cactus"

Macho Vegetarian

"You've definitely got water retention..."

"We got the cactus account!"