Cactus Connoisseur Pillows

What if Martha Stewart had been born a gopher?

'Yeah, dear, I got the stomping job at the vineyard--you didn't mention they make cactus wine!'

'I'm from Health & Safety...I wonder if I might have a word...'

Plant Lady

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

Cactus seats.

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

"Keep looking. She's here somewhere."

"It's not a good sign when cowboys start waving back to the cacti!"

"As near as I can figure, we're in the Unpainted Desert!"

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

Cactus with muscles and dumb-bells on ground.

Thanks

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

"I'm sure he said to meet him near the cactus."

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

"They'd run out of nurses' uniforms..."

'Have you had a brazilian?'

'And what makes you think this is hostile terrain, Hank?'

Florist "Say it with cacti"

SPOONING CACTI

Hombre's Best Friend.

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

'By the way, dear - you have an appointment with the acupuncturist tomorrow.'

'Sometimes I think if it wasn't for Lucy here, I'd go mad.'

"You've definitely got water retention..."

What your house plant says about you...

"The Cheshire Cactus"

'No! we're not lost! And I don't mind asking directions! I'll ask the next guy that walks pass!'

Please help. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."