Cozy Fire Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"The heat of the flames on my feet makes me feel thankful my feet aren't on fire."

Good News about winter

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"At first I was concerned about the Earth opening up. But I was going to build a fire pit, so it actually saved me a lot of time."

They discover fire and we spend all day cooking!

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

The man who discovered smoke

Scotland Yard - coal heavers singing in a public house

The sound of a crackling fire licking at seasoned logs...

The Biggest Forest Fire Starter

'Uh, Jake, I believe that should be 'and the skies are not cloudy all day,' not 'and we pour ourselves more Chardonnary.''

'Look, fire is fire - Why try to develop theories about it?'

Dog with chew toy.

'It freaks me out that you're keeping your dead mum preserved in Formalin on the mantelpiece!'

'Sunning ourselves works alright, but nothing beats a good fire to really warm you up...'

Studying Fire Behavior

"If our heating bill goes up because of this, I'm blaming you."

Collecting logs

"I'm thinking that I may move hell to the west coast of the United States. There's more fire there."

Smiley

When Pyromaniacs Buy A Home: 'This is a great starter home.'

Collecting wood for the fire.

Smoking Section

Though it has never been proven, no one has ever denied that Abraham Lincoln had heat vision. Hmmm....

"It's a nonworking fireplace, but Ursula loves to fantasize."

Curl up in front of a roaring fire tonight.

The Winter Chimney Cleaner

'Fred insists on giving something up for Lent!'

'And best of all, it kills germs that cause bad breath!'

“The children claimed to love nature, even as they warmed themselves by roasting the dismembered limbs of the tree’s mother.”

'I like it.'

"Since he discovered fire, he's done nothing but binge-watch."