Cozy Couch Camper Pillows

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

'It's great to get back to the simple life'

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

'Oh dear, what a shame - It's raining again, Pam!'

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

'I need it for my electric blanket.'

Phone Mittens

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

"Hibernate sounds better than binge watch."

Exercise vs Laxative.

"I've got a lap dog and a laptop cat."

"Comfy?"

Man holding up a cowboy with his TV remote control.

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

'When you get up at night, be careful not to fall in the fishhole.'

Colin believed in being ready for any sporting occasion

"This love seat stinks!"

"This, 'being a housewife' lark, isn't so hard."

"I don't want to sound simplistic, but I think a smaller couch with fewer throw pillows would help this marriage a lot."

"There's nothing wrong with me, I just really like this couch."

"Obsessive complacent disorder"

I love Horror Films

"We haven't seen a bear all week, and my wife just called and said that bears are invading our neighborhood, raiding the garbage cans."

"We'r going to hike to look for reception."

"Man it's freezing tonight - I can't feel my toes and my fingers are numb!"

"One of my suppliers is letting me use his cabin for a few days."

A slipper looks at a woman putting on her shoes