Coworkers Gifts

"It's my support group for Zoom fatigue syndrome."

'Look,if you're going to hang out with us, first thing you gotta' do is lose the bell.'

'Could we have a little chat when you're through here?'

"Let's take an excruciatingly awkward two minutes for people to trickle in."

'Our meeting coordinator recommends that we get a smaller table...'

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Xmas with the In-Your-Face Country Carollers"

"It's just the boss building consensus."

Insecure computer information.

Starbucks goes downscale: drinks for the post-venti-latte economy

'Fred and Carol sure know how to get the most out of a coffee break.'

"What's a nine-letter word for biotechnology?"

'This is not an automatic elevator, sir.'

"VIP's are coming. Quick! Hide the visionaries."

'All right, I wanna know which ones of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

'I love you guys!'

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'

'T.M.I.F.'

'Seriously, who ever heard of swimming with dolphin-friendly tuna?'

'You know you're the most important person on our crew since you keep the coffee machine working.'

'When he freezes like that, stick this straightened paper clip in his ear and hit the reset button.'

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

"The days of 'herding cats' are over: my friends and I meet through video-conferencing now..."

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

The Reaper's Arms

'Good management is based on clear communications...staff need to know exactly what we require if we expect them to be effective and motivated!'

"Delivery in thirty minutes or your pizza is free(zing)."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

Holiday Party: "This party's about to go up a notch."

'I wish you'd stay focused Simpson!'

"Congratulations! You unlocked the devil in your coffee. Microwave a seventh time and you'll meet L. Ron Hubbard."

It's time, sir. Why don't you go first today. Ahem. Monkey Vicodin finance home office. Elongated African banking sex freak. The contest to see who got the day's weirdest email subject line. Spammers, we have a tie.

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

"Happy birthday!"

"Good evening, I'm Ed, and I'll be waiting for your table."

"This afternoon I have to deal with an irritable bowel and a grumbling appendix!"