Cowherd Gifts

"My horse keeps slipping out from under me."

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

New Guy.

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

'This is rodeo history! No one's ever stayed on the Dancing Bronco this long!'

"They’re real."

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

Pull the udder one

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'Sorry lady, can't help you: Yes, I can herd pretty much anything, but not cats, and certainly not kittens...'

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

"You're wondering why I've called you here."

We come in pieces!

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

'Mama! Aliens.'

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

Cowboy directions 'Up yonder', 'Down yonder', 'This-A-Way' and 'That-A-Way'.

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

"I made partner!"

'I AM a cowboy so therefore they ARE cowboy boots, OK?'

'You know...that ain't a good sign.'

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

"And what if I don't want to be Jack or Ennis?"

Farmer Pickles hated it when the cows hummed Darth Vader's theme tune.

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

"Well of course you're depressed... You're a country and western singer."

Even cowgirls get the blues. 'Well, howdy! I've been lookin' for this here B.B. King album forever!'

'Your barn door's open.'

Adios Amoebas