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'Yes, I got a lot out of your assertiveness training course and I would definitely recommend it to anyone.'

The Assistant

'The natives are mobilizing - smoke 'smileys'!'

"Don't worry. I don't use pliers to extract teeth. I just rely on my trusty six shooter."

"I provided the comic relief and said all the right things like 'Yee haw!' And 'You got that right, boss!' . . . But he ditched me anyway!"

"Well, uh. . . I can't prove it. It's just The Law of the West."

"Our baby's first boot."

"Whataya mean the two of us? This town ain't big enough for nobody."

Effeminate cowboy applies lipstick from a gun-belt loaded with lipsticks.

'I'm getting tired of the same old grub.'

Young Gums

'Yup, OK, technically I suppose I should have said 'rope him up'...'

'They didn't transfer me to Sales after all -- they switched me to Country and Western.'

It's an import!

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

"Hatless" Bill Johnson

"There was 'reasonable doubt,' Ma'am, so we're hanging a few lawyers."

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

'Who do you think you're kidding, Slim? — the ruby slippers are a dead giveaway!'

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

'Baby's first two-step.'

The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

"Head for the carrousel! It's our only chance!"

"You funnin' me, bub?"

"Waving the hat keeps the cattle moving and lets my hair get some highlights."

"It's nice to feel wanted though, isn't it?"

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."