Covid Confidant Gifts

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

The Cougher

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

Bribes for Jabs

Strainspotting

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

Time for tea and friendship.

"Your love gives me strength."

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

"I need to self isolate. . . but I thought I'd better come in and see you first!"

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

"Darn it, lost another swab."

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

Personal Assistants.

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

Spa Dog

"Remember if anyone there asks... We're all from one household!"

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

"Peterson should be sure to win the Nobel Prize! He has proven that the mutated Coronavirus also mutates laboratory rats!"

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

"IS this an unauthorised social gathering?"

Heathrow New Variants Arrivals Lounge

A 9/11 Every Day

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"