Cover Champ Gifts

'First I'll do some covers, then I'll play some derivative, cliche-ridden original material.'

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'Play it again, Sam.'

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

Just Stop Boil

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

Cleaner playing pool with brush.

"I can hear the sea boiling."

The nonprofit dog fight.

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

Same Sex Wedding

'All his life, Mel has been convinced that he's a poster boy for something... he's just never been able to figure out what, exactly.'

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

Extreme valentine enthusiast.

The art of fishing.

'It's OK, being completely egocentric is perfectly normal for someone your age.'

"I'm ready. Are you ready? Let the billing begin!"

Nature Scents Research Department.

Man wearing 'Save the whale, rainforst,legalise pot..' t shirt "I think you need to be more focussed."

'Honey, can you believe we share 99% of our DNA with chimps!?'

"We rescued him form the research lab."

"Save ALL animals, you bastard!"

'How would you have played that last ball?'

"It's not you, Gavin. . . it's just that I could never love anyone who still used plastic bags."

The Pole Jumper.

"Whenever I try counting my flock I fall asleep."

"I didn't want to tell you like this, but I'm going solo..."

Little known evolutionary steps.

'That's it Ma'am: Your VCR is set and programmed... You don't need to be an Alpha Male to work it out...'