Contract Champ Gifts

"I'm ready. Are you ready? Let the billing begin!"

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

Inclusive speech

Your Guide to Winning Movember

'Is there such a thing as over communicating?'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

We never got anything done around here until we invented verbs.

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'Are we having fun yet?'

Pig and chicken asking for milk from cow, who replies: 'Sorry, I already gave at the office.'

"Oh, no! That was the deal. Anchovey pizza, then we watch this!"

Schrodinger's kittens

Corporate Lawyers

'So, what are the terms of use?'

Bird on phone: 'Hold on, I have caw waiting.'

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

Monkey casino study.

"When my Tia Maggie got married, she wanted 8 kids...and her husband wanted 2 kids."

Looks like I do dishes again.

"Is it a 'personal attack' if I can prove he’s an idiot?"

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

The art of fishing.

"Do you realize that by signing this you're entitled to nothing my client has accumulated before he met you?" "Yes."

'There was a catch to my lawyer's pro bono offer.'

My music gave me a grade of F sharp.

Tunnel of Begrudging Compromise.

'It's no use ... I'll never catch anyone. I can't even catch my breath.'

"Can't they compromise and sell candy apples?"

'Are you folks ready to take THIS ice bucket challenge?'

Stock Wanted

"OK, let's go to contract."

"I hear we went platinum."

"Excuse me, One has not actually signed the agreement yet!"