Carnival Champ Gifts

I'm no longer welcome at the county fair.

Just Stop Boil

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'Huh. Where'd all my birthday decorations go???'

First Prize!

Going to Sea.

Yep, Jimmy's about the best Eagle Scout I ever saw.

Supermarket Warehouse. At night, with just security here, the products sing classic karaoke. The orange juice is belting Elvis'"All Shook Up." Peanut butter and jelly performed a duet of "Love Will Keep Us Together." children's breakfast cereal sang "Sugar, Sugar." And sriracha sauce did a rendition of "Great Balls of Fire"! What song will the ground beef choose? Jimmy Buffett's "Cheeseburger in Paradise," of course!

"I can hear the sea boiling."

'Are we having fun yet?'

Pig and chicken asking for milk from cow, who replies: 'Sorry, I already gave at the office.'

A man playing guitar beneath a balcony with his hat ready for cash

Schrodinger's kittens

'Take Gerald a cup of punch or something, I think he's feeling left out.'

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

Larry's binge drinking, though annoying, started a terrific domino party tradition....

'Are you folks ready to take THIS ice bucket challenge?'

Stock Wanted

Nature Scents Research Department.

'My Father can beat up your Father!'

"What setting do I use for this?"

"When I finally got my own car, I never drove over the speed limit."

"Sure I won the spelling bee contest, but since everyone has spell check, no one cares!"

Coronavirus Warriors

"It's not you, Gavin. . . it's just that I could never love anyone who still used plastic bags."

'First I'll do some covers, then I'll play some derivative, cliche-ridden original material.'

'Remember I said I bought the largest RV on the market? Well, it has a flat.'

"'Wash the Car'? Isn't that nepotism?"

'Wow, Frank - he nailed it!'

"Whenever I try counting my flock I fall asleep."

"You might like my daughter. She's single and desperate too."

'Christmas Splash Charity: Fancy Dress Swim.'