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The Wicked Witch of the Southwest

Witch

"Lately, I've thinking about getting a motorcycle ... "

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

"We missed you at church Sunday."

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"Eye of Newt, wing of bat, let's instagram it!"

Midwest Winter Items.

'The highest court in the land.'

Church Restoration Fund.

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'Getting ready for the church chili supper is bad enough without you calling it the 'Pre-Tribulation'!'

"60 Fortune 500 companies paid no federal taxes last year. . . meanwhile, thanks to a lack of funding, I no longer get dessert in my meals on wheels."

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

"Eye of newt, wing of bat, blah blah blah, here's one I made earlier."

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

'We finally nailed down where our congregation's priorities lie!'

Genius Bar

"Can we discuss this?"

'So, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, the financial report is approved.'

"Is that your resting witch or resting bitch face. . .?"

'Maybe it's one of those super-stations.'

Basic Witch: Self-Care Guide For Fall

"Of course I would love to host a spa day for all pastor's wives."

"Sure. Call me anytime. Call me for breakfast, call me for lunch, call me for dinner, call me...."

'After years of preparation, Von Ronschtat breaks the microorganism language code.'

'It's okay, there's a six-figure carpeting allowance.'

40 Wall St - For the I.R.S./For Lenders

Nun hammering with a crucifix

"We're just different. I think better outside the box."

'Forget it, it's just another form of pyramid selling.'