Coven Member Gifts

The Wicked Witch of the Southwest

Witch

"Lately, I've thinking about getting a motorcycle ... "

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

"We missed you at church Sunday."

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

Midwest Winter Items.

Gym. Check in Here. The only time I feel the burn is when I pay the memberbship fee.

"Eye of Newt, wing of bat, let's instagram it!"

'The highest court in the land.'

Home Sweet Sign

Church Restoration Fund.

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

'Getting ready for the church chili supper is bad enough without you calling it the 'Pre-Tribulation'!'

"60 Fortune 500 companies paid no federal taxes last year. . . meanwhile, thanks to a lack of funding, I no longer get dessert in my meals on wheels."

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

"Eye of newt, wing of bat, blah blah blah, here's one I made earlier."

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

Rooms for Rent - No Larvae.

"Can we discuss this?"

Genius Bar

'We finally nailed down where our congregation's priorities lie!'

'Page 37 in your hymnals and selection #15 on your iPods.'

'So, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, the financial report is approved.'

"Is that your resting witch or resting bitch face. . .?"

'Maybe it's one of those super-stations.'

'After years of preparation, Von Ronschtat breaks the microorganism language code.'

"Of course I would love to host a spa day for all pastor's wives."

"Sure. Call me anytime. Call me for breakfast, call me for lunch, call me for dinner, call me...."

'It's okay, there's a six-figure carpeting allowance.'

40 Wall St - For the I.R.S./For Lenders

The Bright Side

Basic Witch: Self-Care Guide For Fall