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'Do you honestly expect us to believe you're just the fall guy?'

Trial by Media

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"We won!"

"Now that's a win."

Barristers

Sue the Author 3PM

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"Lights! Camera! Justice!"

'We have irreconcilable differences -- he's a MAN!'

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"They're class action figures."

Robert Macaire as a Solicitor

Sue The Bastards

'You are both charged with quarrelling without a license!'

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"