Courtroom Theatrics Appreciator T-Shirts

"Your Honor, my client's third cousin is married to the Mayor's barber's nephew, but he doesn't expect any special treatment."

Trial by Media

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

I love Lawyers

Barristers

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

Robert Macaire as a Solicitor

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

Pre-Minstrel Tension

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'