Courtroom Theatrics Appreciator T-Shirts

"Your Honor, my client's third cousin is married to the Mayor's barber's nephew, but he doesn't expect any special treatment."

Trial by Media

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

I love Lawyers

Barristers

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

Pre-Minstrel Tension

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

Robert Macaire as a Solicitor

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

Contest of wills.