Courtroom Sitcom Aficionados Gifts

"As your lawyer, I advice you to start crying."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

"The court granted me a new identity!"

'Oh, objection, objection, objection - what is it this time, Counselor?'

Baby's first words.

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

"I didn't consider it hacking. I thought of it as getting a sneak preview of their content."

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

'Oh sure, Your Honor, he can speak. He's using sign language ...

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods

"I pronounce you guilty as charged and wife."

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

'If you plead guilty to being the Cat Burglar, I can get you off with just being declawed.'

"...And now show us what you said."