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"As your lawyer, I advice you to start crying."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

"The court granted me a new identity!"

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

'Oh, objection, objection, objection - what is it this time, Counselor?'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

Baby's first words.

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

"I didn't consider it hacking. I thought of it as getting a sneak preview of their content."

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

The start of a clinical drug trial. Your honor, we will prove beyond a reasonable doubt this pill is both safe and effective.

'Oh sure, Your Honor, he can speak. He's using sign language ...

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- You lifted that alibi from a September, 1958 episode of 'Perry Mason!'

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

'Must you be so judgemental?'

'If you plead guilty to being the Cat Burglar, I can get you off with just being declawed.'

"My conclusion that he lied was based on his body language, his polygraph results, and the complete implausibility of his story."

"...And now show us what you said."

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

"I pronounce you guilty as charged and wife."

'What could you expect? His owner kept calling him a bad dog!'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

Hermes, Process Server Of The Gods