Fans Of Courtroom Comedies Gifts

"What we're going to say to the jury is 'Love the embezzler. Hate the embezzlement."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

"The court granted me a new identity!"

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

'Oh, objection, objection, objection - what is it this time, Counselor?'

'Might I caution you on suing the defendant for damages...such action is fraught with difficulty, given your 'hand-me-down' status in his family!!'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

Baby's first words.

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

"I didn't consider it hacking. I thought of it as getting a sneak preview of their content."

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

'Oh sure, Your Honor, he can speak. He's using sign language ...

'Judge Mental.'

'Must you be so judgemental?'

You may go free, to worry about tax and the economy like the rest of us.

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

'I had no idea there was a local ordinance against taking the Fifth Amendment!'

'What could you expect? His owner kept calling him a bad dog!'

"These days, everyone is lawyering up."

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- You lifted that alibi from a September, 1958 episode of 'Perry Mason!'

"In a surprising turn of events, the end testifies against the means."

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'