Courtroom Navigator Gifts

'With my degree in law and in physics, I hope to create resonable doubt.'

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

'I might be able to get you off if a chain of near miraculous rulings happen to occur.'

"You're in luck. The bankruptcy court is next door."

"Yep, paid through the nose."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

"Bailiff."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

'We need to schedule a few impromptu meetings...'

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, despite how bad it's going to screw you?"

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Board of Directors enter the 'Tunnel of Corporate Love'.

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

Arrogant junior barrister

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'You use the former when wooing your beloved and the latter during negotiations with your divorce lawyers.'

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

"Overruled."

"This jury may not be swayed by any defense that relies on emotion."

Two lawyers in a royal court

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."