Courtroom Navigator T-Shirts

'With my degree in law and in physics, I hope to create resonable doubt.'

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

'I might be able to get you off if a chain of near miraculous rulings happen to occur.'

"You're in luck. The bankruptcy court is next door."

"Yep, paid through the nose."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

"Bailiff."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

'We need to schedule a few impromptu meetings...'

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Board of Directors enter the 'Tunnel of Corporate Love'.

Arrogant junior barrister

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

'You use the former when wooing your beloved and the latter during negotiations with your divorce lawyers.'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

"Overruled."

"This jury may not be swayed by any defense that relies on emotion."

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

Two lawyers in a royal court

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'