Courtroom Explorer T-Shirts

'Big mistake to have used up all of my jury challenges.'

'Trust me, I'm an Attorney.'

'You know a little something about the legal system. I like that in a lawyer.'

Preparing justice

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

I love Lawyers

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

"Bailiff."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

Planet of the Lawyers

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

Yawning barristers in court

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'