Court Chaos Navigator Gifts

Tennis player lands on the net.

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

Woman with kids at husbands office.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Stubborn Horse

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

Tired Barbie

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

Signs of Stress

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

"We're all well aware of the madness, Phipps...where's the method?"

A dream of consequence

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

'With my degree in law and in physics, I hope to create resonable doubt.'

Having It All

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

'You got him here before the tardy bell, Mrs. Bates, but I'm not sure he's prepared to learn.'

Careful

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

Tax Department - Whammy/double whammy

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."