Courtroom Reader Gifts

"I've come to judge some books by their cover."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Bailiff."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Arrogant junior barrister

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

'You use the former when wooing your beloved and the latter during negotiations with your divorce lawyers.'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

"Not guilty"

'With my degree in law and in physics, I hope to create resonable doubt.'

"Overruled."

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

Pinocchio and Partners Lawyers.

Judges alarm clock: 'beep beep, all rise!'

'I was afraid cameras in the court would lead to this.'

"Guilty! I hope you're not expecting any positive feedback."