Courtroom Mastermind Gifts

"The best thing we've ever done is to buy advertising on vehicle air bags."

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

"This is the murder weapon the defendant used, your honor, and these are the tunes he butchered in cold blood."

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

'Brain surgery, right?'

Restrictive Abortion Laws

I know "Ignorance of the law is no excuse" applies to defendants your honor, but

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'

'They profiled me just because I'm a bank robber!'

'... And then Goldsmith here, said to him: 'Never mind, if you're innocent you have nothing to worry about'.'

'Sure, I'm a criminal psychopath, but look at all the JOBS I created!'

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

'You appear to be a very honest and ethical applicant. Are you sure you're in the right office?'

Truth, justice and a damn good lawyer.

"I don't like the looks of this! That's our jury consultant!"

"Have you notices how Ed has changed since he started going to law school?"

"'Ambulance chaser'? I resent that on two levels."

'If you have nothing to hide, why are you hiding?'

Trial Mix.

'My client did not escape, Your Honor -- his prison was so crowded, somebody pushed him out the window!'

"You've been chewed up and spitout by some very prestigious firms."

'Better get used to it. I was just appointed to nine life terms to the bench.'

'It all started when I told him I resented people calling lawyers assholes, because I'm an asshole.'

Your Honor, We Find The Defendant 'Naughty'.

'On the other hand, if we accept confessions extracted under torture then soon they won't need lawyers.'

'Promise me that this won't go any further?'

It's my summer robe.

"You want to be a lawyer, do you? That could be construed as obstruction of justice!"

Court. You've been found guilty of defrauding your bank customers, therefore I'm imposing an adjustable-rate sentence!

'My instincts and intuitions are on opposing sides on this legal strategy.'

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."

The firm took a Good Lawyed/Bad Lawyer approach to cases.