Courtroom Mastermind Gifts

"The best thing we've ever done is to buy advertising on vehicle air bags."

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

Restrictive Abortion Laws

'Brain surgery, right?'

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

'Sure, I'm a criminal psychopath, but look at all the JOBS I created!'

'... And then Goldsmith here, said to him: 'Never mind, if you're innocent you have nothing to worry about'.'

'They profiled me just because I'm a bank robber!'

'You appear to be a very honest and ethical applicant. Are you sure you're in the right office?'

Truth, justice and a damn good lawyer.

"I don't like the looks of this! That's our jury consultant!"

'If you have nothing to hide, why are you hiding?'

"Have you notices how Ed has changed since he started going to law school?"

Trial Mix.

"'Ambulance chaser'? I resent that on two levels."

'On the other hand, if we accept confessions extracted under torture then soon they won't need lawyers.'

'My client did not escape, Your Honor -- his prison was so crowded, somebody pushed him out the window!'

Your Honor, We Find The Defendant 'Naughty'.

'Better get used to it. I was just appointed to nine life terms to the bench.'

"You've been chewed up and spitout by some very prestigious firms."

'It all started when I told him I resented people calling lawyers assholes, because I'm an asshole.'

"You want to be a lawyer, do you? That could be construed as obstruction of justice!"

'Promise me that this won't go any further?'

'My instincts and intuitions are on opposing sides on this legal strategy.'

The firm took a Good Lawyed/Bad Lawyer approach to cases.

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."

'According to my computer this is going to be expensive.'