Courtroom Commanders Gifts

'Release the lawyers.'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

"Bailiff."

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"We make crime pay."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, despite how bad it's going to screw you?"

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

Arrogant junior barrister

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

"This is the murder weapon the defendant used, your honor, and these are the tunes he butchered in cold blood."

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

I Litigate Therefore I Am.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"