Court Commander Gifts

'You know you're doing your job right when both coaches are mad at you.'

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

Trial by Media

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Bailiff."

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

"We make crime pay."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

Yawning barristers in court

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

I love Basketball.

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

Arrogant junior barrister

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

Sub Post Office/Sub-Justice

Justice

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'