Courthouse Events Gifts

A convict escaping during the press scrum

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

"Bailiff."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

Lady Justice.

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, despite how bad it's going to screw you?"

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

Arrogant junior barrister

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'It wasn't a hate crime, Your Honor — I actually kind of liked the guy.'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'Oh, objection, objection, objection - what is it this time, Counselor?'

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

"This jury may not be swayed by any defense that relies on emotion."

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."