Court Joker Gifts

Basketball Players Working Together

'...Splints. Tape. Ice pack. Bandages....Wait! Here it is - spare brain.'

"I'm really sorry, Mr. Thompson... it seems I got the chalk mixed up with the birdseed!"

'Now, that's what I call a smash!'

A powerful tennis serves buries the tennis ball in the ground.

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Court's in recess!'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

'How about a game of cards?'

TV jester.

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

COWS: Cow Pong

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"I say we move on to dessert."

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

Basketball.

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

Justice 4 Ron

Medieval headlines.

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'