Court Joker Gifts

Basketball Players Working Together

'...Splints. Tape. Ice pack. Bandages....Wait! Here it is - spare brain.'

"I'm really sorry, Mr. Thompson... it seems I got the chalk mixed up with the birdseed!"

'Now, that's what I call a smash!'

A powerful tennis serves buries the tennis ball in the ground.

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Court's in recess!'

'How about a game of cards?'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

TV jester.

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

COWS: Cow Pong

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"I say we move on to dessert."

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

Justice 4 Ron

Basketball.

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

Medieval headlines.

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'