Squash Court Joker Gifts

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

Banana Split...

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'Court's in recess!'

Joust Sharpener

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

Jogging Bottoms

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

"Repeat after me..."

'The doctor is running a little late this morning; but a couple more laps around the park and he should be back at his desk.'

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'George, stop playing with the children.'

Unicyclist painting a ceiling.

PARALEGAL, 'Hi -- I'm a paracriminal.'

"You have a really lousy sense of humor."

"What did I tell you about practicing on the cat?"

"'Disability benefits' they said... Not while there are perfectly good jobs as traffic cones to be had!"

"We calculated your age by how many hours you billed your clients, and you are at least 96."

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice

Mel Hoffman - Attorney TO the stars.

'I'm in for burglarizing a store, but I got a reduced sentence because I only stole sale items.'

'That's the last frivolous law suit I want to see any lawyer wearing in this court!'

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

'We find the defendant to be dead meat.'

"I've been telling everyone how athletic you are."